She said her name was "party"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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