see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
