You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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