Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
you made out with another girl for some wings
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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