Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
