D3 body, D1 cock
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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