Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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