My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
