Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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