If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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