I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
