Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
