I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
