I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
