Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
