i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
