lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
