You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
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I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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