When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
