is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
