Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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