You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I wish there were birth control emojis
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
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