I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
