You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
