Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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