apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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