you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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