wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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