i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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