More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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