Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
