just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She swung at the pinata with crutches
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
