she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
