The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
