My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
