Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.