My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize