So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?