gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
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I slept with him to see his dog one last time
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
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After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions