This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"