Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
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Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
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Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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