I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I looked at my own cervix.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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