i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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