I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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