I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
