Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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