I think im going to throw up on grandma
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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