Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
