PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
