i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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