just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.