its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.