Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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