oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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