You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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