their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
