CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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