I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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