well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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