I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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