Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
