in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
