Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
