he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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