i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
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there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
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Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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